People are often confused or offended when I use the word hippie.

Some people either think the term is derogatory, or they think that hippies were something that only existed in the 60s, and that you can’t be a hippie today any more than you can be a flapper. These people haven’t spent enough time on the west coast lately.

Most of my friends in California are, as you can see, obviously hippies and I genuinely consider myself to be a hippie as well. I’ve even got some hippie buddies here in Hanoi, they do drum circles in Lenin park on Sundays.

I really can’t think of any other term to use to describe the ongoing social/cultural movement that I’ve been living in for most of my life. I don’t even like to call it a movement because it’s really not going anywhere, it’s just how a lot of people think and live. It’s more of a lifestyle philosophy.

The parts of hippie culture that resonate most with me are: the focus on a happy and healthy lifestyle, living within your means and enjoying what you have, eating well, being social, relaxing and taking it easy, being experimental and open to new ideas and cultures, being politically progressive and believing in peace and the environment, traveling, helping people, enjoying food, music, and art, but not necessarily by the same rules as the critics and experts. In short, living well.

On a Friday night, when my more mainstream friends are standing in line to see some stupid $9 movie, my hippie friends are having bonfires and potlucks, playing music and dancing, jumping in the surf at the beach or finding hot springs (or at least sneaking in to the movie through the back door).

And while a lot of people seem to have a natural tendency to forming fixed and closed off social groups,  most of the hippies I know are a lot more open minded and quick to make new friends and invite them along for the fun.

I guess if someone held a knife to my throat and demanded that I describe hippies without saying the word “hippie” I would say progressive, alternative, bohemians.

There are also some parts of hippie culture that drive me completely nuts: embarrassing and counterproductive protests, blind allegiance to all things alternative, chard. But what especially gets me is the prevalence of, and often militant belief in, poorly thought through political, metaphysical, and scientific theories. (How can someone concurrently believe in ghosts, reincarnation, and an afterlife!?)

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So what does this have to do with business? Well, they say the key to marketing is to find your niche. And many companies have targeted the hippie niche, as many hippies have a lot of money.

People often think that hippies having a lot of money is hypocritical, and to some extent it is, but it also makes perfect sense: It’s a lot easier to reject the traditional goals of career success and material wealth when you’ve grown up around a lot of wealth and you realize that big houses and fancy cars don’t really add much to the day to day quality of your life.

It also really helps if your parents pay for you to go to college. College today is hardly a full time endeavor, and my hippie ways were slowly built up over years of idle afternoons and long summer vacations. It’s hard to listen to someone explain the wonders of kombucha when you have to be at work in 15min.

In theory, hippies are supposed to reject consumerism. But some companies have created brands that really work for hippies. Two examples (out of many) are Moleskine and Nalgene.

Moleskine makes notebooks. Unlike other manufacturers they don’t sell their notebooks in the school supply isle of supermarkets and office stuff stores. They sell their product in book stores and airports, and they claim on the packaging that their notebooks are the same type as some used by Hemingway and Picasso.

Nalgene makes water bottles, another deceptively simple product. Their water bottles are very strong and were originally popular with climbers that supposedly have a problem with dropping and breaking their water bottles while climbing.

These companies have a lot of similarities. They make very high quality products. They use very subtle branding, but are definitely distinct enough to get you noticed by other fans of the brand. Most importantly though these products imply a certain lifestyle. A lifestyle where you travel around the world sketching and writing, and you spend so much of your time dangling from cliffs that dropping and shattering your water bottle is a serious concern. Normal notebooks or water bottles obviously wouldn’t stand a chance.

People love these brands. Fans have uploaded 3,169 photos of their Nalgenes and 74,755 photos of their Moleskines to flikr. There are even 49 photos that have both Moleskines and Nalgenes tagged in them, including a couple of people that decided to draw pictures of their Nalgenes in their Moleskines. (idiots)

Other hippie brands include: Dr. Bronner’s soap, Braggs Amino Acid condiment, Rainbow Sandals, and of course, Apple.

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For each of these successful brands there are a million little companies trying to catch the next wave. Many are founded by hippies that have followed their dreams and opened their own business creating something that was important to them, but a lot of them also tend to be total scams. The scams often take advantage of the hippie enthusiasm for silly pseudo-science.

So about a year ago I was hanging out with some of my hippie friends up in Homer, Alaska and I noticed a very silly bottle of water:

Since then I’ve made it a point to check out the bottled water whenever I pop into a local health food store or co-op.

“Real Water” vs. “Earth Water”…  That’s a tough choice. I guess someone figured out that hippies are especially finicky about their water.

I soon realized that the crazy bottled water market was turning into a serious arms race:

Here are some quotes from my favorites

“H20 Vortex, Activated Water: spin cycle process with ULTRA OXYGEN”

“Borba skin balance water firming contains a revolutionary cultivated bio-vitamin complex along with a scientifically designed blend of nutrients intended to promote the skin’s natural support system, helping to nourish and tone the skin. Borba skin balance water is formulated to work with your body’s chemistry to promote healthy skin. This on-the-go, skin care-infused beverage combines simplicity and nutrition with the goodness of water. It’s water with benefits”

“HiOsilver Oxygen Water: Spring Water TurbOcharged with PURE OXYGEN (TM), 6 times the oxygen (50 ppm) of ordinary water, Glass bottle retains oxygen, Made with spring water, pH 8.4, naturally alkaline, For fresh breath, No sodium”

“New studies at a leading American and European Medical University have found that there is a water that not only fully hydrates, but may also be a pure antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals in your body. That water is Penta. – Penta water is first cleaned using a state of the art purification system that removes all impurities. No other bottled water is as pure! The water then goes through the patented penta process that spins the water at high speed and pressure for 10 hours. This unique process energizes the water to be a pure antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals in your body. And, unlike many antioxidant supplements and beverages that use synthetic additives, Penta has no additives so it is fully absorbed by your body maximizing its antioxidant effects.”

“e-water: A revolution in refreshment! Full Spectrum Electrolytes with fulvic acid.Stimulates metabolism, Increases absorption of key electrolytes, scavenges heavy metals/free radicals, increases enzymatic activity”

“AQUAVYBE’S pure, smooth taste comes from a unique formula that combines natural, bio-energetic minerals from Original Himalayan Crystal Salt (TM), with quantum science, creating super-hydrating, energizing water, with naturally occurring electrolytes.”

“E2 – Electron Energized (TM) water is the most advanced water available today. Through a proprietary process, E2 water is stably enhanced in two very important ways. First it is alkalized and second it is negatively ionized. Most bottled water is acidic which according to many nutritionists is unhealthy. E2 water helps the body become more alkalized  for improved health. Second, Nearly all water is positively ionized because the water molecules have been stripped of valuable electrons. This causes the water molecules to share electrons and clump together. These clumped molecules are not easily absorbed on a cellular level. With E2, the water molecules are negatively ionized. These negatively ionized water molecules contain free electrons and unclump so that they can be absorbed quickly on a cellular level. As an added benefit, the free electrons act as an anti-oxidant to neutralize free radicals. So to truly hydrate on a cellular level, use E2 – Electron Energized (TM) water. You will taste and feel the difference! Oxidation Reduction Potential (OPR) of -50 Guaranteed!”

One water bottle brand is the clear winner of the bullshit war.

AquaHydrate: The Ultimate Hydrating Fluid! Aquahydrate is the purest, health promoting water available anywhere. Some waters are purified, some are alkaline, some have organic trace minerals, some are micro-structured, and some have proper electrolyte balance – AQUAHYDRATE has it all!”

This is like when a little kid, after being asked what he would wish for if a genie appeared, thinks to say “I wish for infinite wishes.”.

I wish for infinite water awesomeness!

Genius.

In defense of my hippie side and hippie friends, I’ve never actually seen anyone buy any of this silly water. Well, except for the Egyptian geometry one. But come on, Egyptian geometry? That’s a pretty cool thing to put in your water.

update: yes I know that people are now boycotting Nalgene in favor of Klean Kanteen on the basis that Nalgenes use toxic plastics and make restraints for animal testing. This is just the next step in a long line of trendy water holders. I remember the bygone eras of Bota Bags and Camelbaks. Like I said, hippies are finicky about their water.